If you live in an area where there are no social opportunities for the HIV+, you may want to consider starting one yourself. It is not all that hard.

Here are some ideas that might help, but nothing is set in concrete, do what works for you.

Remember: There can be different kinds of groups, based on how public or closeted they are. Despite probable overlap, they will attract different clientele.

• Find a good time for having a get-together, and a nice place (maybe your own home or someone else's) and invite the few people you already know. Have refreshments available and ask who else there

  • thinks it is a good idea

  • might be willing to help

  • has preferences about such details as meeting in private homes where alcohol could be permitted vs some church or community center that might let its space be used, for predictability of locale

  • has interest in what sort of activities: just casual meetings to chat; potluck dinners; joint trips to movies or museums; or what?

• Emphasize from the very beginning that the privacy of the attendees must be respected by all for the group to be able to continue. Many are driven to hide the fact deep in a dark closet when they first discover it. A group respecting the need for some to retain their non-disclosure in other parts of their lives can attract a larger number of individuals. (Exception: groups of HIV-positive individuals who are "out" about having it.)

• Sound the group out about bringing food/drink to future gatherings: the less the group needs to finance, the better. Ask how many would be discouraged if some small admission were charged. It makes it easier to run your group, but you don't want to drive away the people you are trying to help, and not all will have a lot of disposable income with the cost of medications so high.

• Have those who come use word-of-mouth to spread the knowledge of the existence of this budding group. This is always the best way and sometimes the only way, if the larger community might be or be perceived as being hostile.

• If appropriate in your environment, ask any available gay press to publicize the group's existence and some method of contacting it for information. With a contact point established, you need not publicize the exact details of the meetings, which may vary too much from meeting to meeting or may in some communities expose the host(s) to unwanted publicity.

• Once you have met once or twice, you can try approaching some known organization in the community about acting as a contact point or helping a tad financially (some administrative expenses like postage). In some cases, local government might even be willing to finance some of the operating expenses: you'll never know if you don't ask.

• Think about internal spreading of information on future gatherings: can you get enough volunteers to support a telephone tree? (Messages must be pretty neutral in case someone else shares the phone: they may not know the recipient's status.)

• Try to keep business meeting aspects to an absolute minimum. That is not what the group is for. Still, some minimum is necessary (even if only an explanation of how the group works for newcomers over time). Perhaps any extensive business can be left to a committee of volunteers.

• Once you have a group started, think about how to communicate both internally and to those who might want to know but don't yet. Possibilities include:

  • an ad or small story in a local gay paper if available, mentioning specifically that confidentiality is respected

  • a whispering campaign, where you encourage those coming to tell their friends who aren't yet (not everyone will want to of course)

  • a webpage, if anyone has space they can give you for nothing on their existing service. You may want to look at the webpage(s) of our group in the DC area for ideas of what you can do with a webpage if you have one. One thing you won't find there though is the hidden map to our next social. Not all web pages must be linked into the others: you can have one that must be individually asked for by name (by those who know the name).

If you have further ideas to enrich this page, contact us by email
via the good offices of the H.O.P.E. Foundation asking them to pass it on to us.

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Last Updated: Friday, February 26, 1999